redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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