So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
