We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
