i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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