dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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