Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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