I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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