That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
