you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
