I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
