i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
