When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
