yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
