Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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