does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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