fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
