yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
