Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
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