she was so not down for the gang bang
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize