third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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