there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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