My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I need mimosas to revive my soul
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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