she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
