We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
