Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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