I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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