Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I touched a dick in church today
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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