Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
