That's intense
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
