Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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