one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
