he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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