I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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