AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
