Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
