You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
