no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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