Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
