he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
