Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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