Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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