Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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