just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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