you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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