So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize
