I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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