First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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