shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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