Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
