She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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