yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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