All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize