I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
