we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
