I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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