i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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