Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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