I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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