D3 body, D1 cock
Life is so much better after having sex.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
