if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
