i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
