My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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