dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
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