better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
