My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Be still, my beating vagina.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
