Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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