Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
