If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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